Hernandez Disapointment

The more I think about it, the more disappointment I have about the Aaron Hernandez verdict ….

Not because it’s yet another sports idol with feet of clay, proven to be someone eminently not worth emulating;

Not because there’s a sports-fanatical city that has lost a star in their athletic pantheon;

Not because I have any doubts about the legal proceedings and their fairness;

Not because one man will live a long, long, long time confined in a prison, while another family lives a long, long, long time with the grief of an unfillable void in their lives.

I’m disappointed in me.  I’m disappointed in that first reaction that I had to the verdict that it and the sentence was that it would wipe the smirk off his face.  God, how terribly petty of me.  I knew his attitude and reaction to the proceedings bothered me, because it seemed in my own warped thinking that he conveyed that he was above the system or the outcome.  But when the verdict came down, it hit me.  I realized my OWN frailty, my own flaws, my own smugness and self-righteousness, it hit me how wrong I was to view things that way, how disappointed I was in my reaction to what, for everyone, is a terrible situation.

I’m a piece of work myself, no better than the one I’m judging.  Shame on me.

I’m sorry Aaron, for your action…..

and my reaction.

aaron-hernandez-courtroom

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